1. |
The After
02:36
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I don't believe in God if he can't stand up for himself
if he needs anybody's help
if he didn't only come to save
I won't go to heaven only out of fear for hell
Isn't that an easy sell?
I've got better things to do than be afraid
Like trying to forget the Fundamental things I learned:
like how to sleep with fear
to know the devil's always near
that he'd jump into me when I least expected
that he'd steal my soul just to be respected
And I could go on about the antichrist,
but I figure it'll be addressed in the afterlife
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2. |
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I have set to live a quiet life
Packed up all my things and sold them for an even price
Put pressure on the poor to take what I had earned
Then made my way up mountains far above the earth
The elements strike harder here, I do not heed their sting
I host the highest heavens, fight the lowest beasts
Time does not exist
I've got all of it to spare,
but I've got none to give to you,
I've got no way to share
The pious come to see me
They remark about my beard
I almost hear them singing, I almost see them stare
I think they think I see them
I think they think I'm glad they came
But I did not ask for their leisure
I have a higher goal than fame
I have come here to complete in me
what was lacking still there in my suffering
I have come here to escape,
and, in escaping, understand
I have come here for the quiet solitude affords
I think they think I see them
I think they think I'm glad they came
But I did not ask for their leisure
I have a higher goal than fame
I have come here for the quiet that solitude affords
And any other of concerns, I have chosen to ignore
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3. |
Here It Is
03:24
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Isn't it just like the thing to change you?
To make things matter more when they can loose
I will hold him tighter like you told me to,
and make sure we still come and visit, too
I won't pretend that I saw it coming,
but foresight doesn't ease the pronouncement
I can only guess how you are feeling
If nothing less, less confident
So, here it is, your separation, and I've got nothing but to cry
Here it is, your separation, I better learn to say goodbye
Isn't it just like the thing to change you?
To make you send a pitiless attack
These 30 years, no match to anger
You didn't even try to have me back
Well, I won't pretend that I don't blame you,
but blaming doesn't ease the aftermath
I can't even guess what you are thinking
or why it fell so easy and so fast
So, here it is, our separation, and I've got nothing but to cry
Here it is, our separation, I better learn to say goodbye
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4. |
Coming Soon
05:51
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I'm not a man
You're not a wife
I can't provide so you can sleep at night
What we were was swept away when only tumbleweeds would grow
We tilled all the tricks we'd ever know
But still moved west,
with a baby in the belly of our youngest
West, with a fire in the belly of our oldest
West, a better life is coming soon
We moved west
So, brother, I'll see you at fireside,
where we'll pretend a better life:
Eleanor will have us over for a White House meal
No, I can't spare a dime
I'm just as poor as you,
poorer if you count all I lost you never had to lose
It's not a village
We don't live here
There are no children anymore who ain't been raised
They're ancient beggars with no fear,
lining streets like pockets lined with cash
Praying hard to God that that bread will last
Here in the west, with a hunger in the belly of every liar
West, with cotton picking gone like paper fliers
West, a better life is coming soon
We love the west
Painters paint murals to happier times
Young men ride the rails to happier lives,
digging ditches in the desert,
laying line that leads to never
Living paycheck to the next meal,
as they work out Franklin's New Deal,
but you can't trick the spirit
Being useless--we all fear it
And you can't convince that useless tasks
don't make the worker worth his work. Oh no.
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5. |
Oh, Forgotten
05:00
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Are you a deep pit, are you a narrow well?
Do you increase the faithless, send their souls to hell?
Do you collect your wool, your oil, your drink, your bread
from men with foreign tongue who climb into your bed?
And when the morning comes, nightwatchmen climb from towers,
they watch your husbands sneak home in the early hours,
back to the wives they left when you called them in the square
They turn their backs and run only to leave you there
Oh, forgotten harlot, does it make you want to sin no more?
Oh, forgotten harlot, does it make you feel like a whore?
But when your harlot's wages keep rolling in,
does it make you want to begin again?
Just a harlot, still a harlot, till she becomes somebody's bride
Do you profane your father on every threshing ground?
Are you a constant hunter, your feet knowing no house?
Does your face stay veiled, your forehead show no shame?
Are you an act of folly for many men to blame?
And when before a king, a sword is drawn for justice
to dispense whores' sons, one lost, one stole for fairness
Do you claim an even share that then betrays your lie?
Shout, "Neither mine nor hers! But let monarchs divide!"
Oh, forgotten harlot, does it make you want to sin no more?
Oh, forgotten harlot, does it make you feel like a whore?
But when your harlot's wages keep rolling in,
does it make you want to begin again?
Just a harlot, still a harlot, till she becomes somebody's bride
So take up, take up and play with skill
Take up and roam that city still
Take up, take up and sing your song to be remembered after long
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6. |
Reading You To Sleep
05:30
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So, where were we again?
There was a second war
There was a wardrobe
There was a thunderstorm
and a hiding game
The youngest of the children went for tea
And here you are
with all your life supports
I hope you hear me reading you to sleep
No first steps, but there were first breaths
And we were just as proud of them
That's why the best thing we'll ever do
was our decision to keep you
So, where were we again?
He was on the move
He'd just returned
He had come to scare the winter with his wail
There was a proper place
and an ancient way
And when the winter breaks, we'll have you back again
Now here you are
Freed from your life supports
I hope you hear me reading you to sleep
No first steps, but there were first breaths
And we were just as proud of them
That's why the best thing we'll ever do
was our decision to keep you
Still no first steps, but there were first breaths
And we held you till goodbye
That's why the best thing we'll ever do
was our decision to keep you
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7. |
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The longer that you get, I know the harder it will be
With every corner of the world bathed in memory
But the shorter that you get, I know the harder it will be,
if you don't get a fighting chance at being you,
And being you and me.
When you die, if I am still alive, I will be sad beyond compare
If you die out in the cold, all frozen in the sleet,
I will have to travel to a land of summer heat
I'll sell all of your things, but I will keep a few for me
Just enough and not enough to forget,
And to remember you
When you die, if I am still alive, I will be sad beyond compare
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8. |
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I'm a reluctant soldier,
satisfied to pacify with tales of others' wars
The only weight I shoulder
for characters with weapons fighting off in fairy moors
I'm only bold in my assertions
I'm never bold in my behavior
I'm paralyzed by loiter,
when all we ever hear, it seems, are rumors of our war
We're sitting safe in service,
reciting tidings of who's felled by whatever evil sword
I'm only bold in my assertions
I'm never bold in my behavior,
and clever as I want to be,
I could do with being braver
Yeah, I could do with being braver
There's a longing to reconcile to rightness
There's a brazen sort of truth about this war
But there's hope in the Victor and an end,
simple and final that everyone is fighting for
Everyone but me, I'm a reluctant soldier
Everyone but me, I'm a reluctant soldier who could do with being braver
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9. |
How Can I Give You Up
03:39
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As the father of my children, you never fathered anyone
Only led them through the city to the homes of loose women
When our princes take their kingdoms,
they'll be more wicked than you were
You've taken and
You've stolen them for evil
But how can I give you up, oh Ephraim?
How can I surrender you, oh Israel?
Though you've taken hired lovers,
traded your altars for thorns,
How can I give you up?
How can I give you up?
How can I give you up, oh Ephraim?
As a mother, I have reason
As a bride, I have a case
You have joined yourself with others to the reaches of my shame
The affection you have for me is the dew's affection for the ground
A fall at night
And then you leave me early
But how can I give you up, oh Ephraim?
How can I surrender you, oh Israel?
Though you've taken hired lovers,
traded your altars for thorns,
How can I give you up?
How can I give you up?
How can I give you up, oh Ephraim?
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10. |
How It Ends
04:30
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Is it losing her if you watched her go,
If you know where she is buried?
Is she lost if you know the way by rote?
If you know right where she's gone to,
how come she's so hard to get to?
So you keep sleeping from sorrow
If you can sleep at all
Does it help to borrow
all the memories we hold?
Learning to smile again,
Things you never knew were learned
It's never for the better anyway
I should start thinking more about how we live
But whenever I think about life
How it's metered out and ruled by exception
Strange for everyone and fleeting
I can't help thinking how it ends
How you keep sleeping from sorrow
If you can sleep at all
Does it help to borrow
all the memories we hold?
Learning to smile again,
Things you never knew were learned
It's never for the better anyway
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11. |
Recovery
04:20
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Some years ago you tried to give your name
What went instead wasn't his to take
And you've been recovering ever since
Hoping that no one would notice
That you've got recovery on your mind
You've been recovering all this time
You've got recover on your mind
You've been recovering all this time
I know how you did everything all wrong
I could recite it like a song
So I've been recovering ever since
Hoping that you would not notice
But when I recover I want it gone
Don't want a reason to hang on
When I recover I want it gone
Don't need a reason to hang on
I'll have a daughter of my own
I never want her to have to know
How to recover and never to heal
But to be free and free for real.
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12. |
Song About Pain
04:36
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There is pain enough for us,
pain enough for us
What if I have only come to set things right--
to love the whore
to settle every score without a fight
to straighten limbs
uncover eyes
to fix your mind
to fill your belly full for every night
Cause there is pain enough for us,
pain enough for us
There will be peace enough in a valley for us
There will be peace in the valley for me one day
There will be peace in the valley for me, I pray
There'll be no sadness, no sorrow
no trouble I see
There will be peace in the valley for me
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